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You think this is about honour?  
05:34pm 12/09/2008
 
 
it's not; it's about existence
survival
and believing in something bigger than yourself
"come here to find out what you're made of"
no
you come here to find out who you are
and i think i'm in the process of learning that
 
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Whisper words of wisdom  
11:31pm 11/08/2008
 
 
let it be...
whisper words of wisdom
let it be...
 
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it's been a while  
11:09pm 01/08/2008
 
 
and this will now be my poetry blog;
or my i hate everything blog
neither of which i have now
other than to say
CONGRATULATIONS
to Jer and Steph who are getting married tomorrow
i love you guys and am there in spirit, and prayer
God bless your marriage
and your big day
 
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love  
11:09pm 09/07/2008
 
 
I just need to know...
that you think i can do this
that you believe in me
that i can trust your love;


and this is what you tell me


maybe you are exactly where you need to be
you'd be completely insane not to be scared
you've got this covered
i believe in you
i don't think you can do this; i know you can
i love you
courage is not the absence of fear; but the decision that something is more important
together we'll make it through this day
we are all one body
we are all one family
you need to go to see how big God is
you're about to find it out who you are

man i'm going to miss him
 
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(no subject)  
05:46pm 07/07/2008
 
 
ugh
i hate this
i have no motivation
and no where to start...my brain is too jumbled; just like my life, and my room
and all i want to do is be with my friends
and here I am; alone; trying to figure out my life
maybe i just need to turn off the tv and on the music
and just do it




and i need to get used to being alone
 
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5 days  
05:28pm 05/07/2008
 
 
all brokenness is caused by sin

well folks; it's 7:35am on sunday morning; i've been up for almost an hour; I'm leaving for church in an hour and a half. and I'm leaving peterborough at the end of this week; which gives me 5 days left.
5 days to pack up 5 years, to get rid of alot of stuff; to give away things to anyone who will take it; to decide what is important enough to bring with me, or to give other people for safe keeping.
i think it's finally hitting me; i don't have time to be wasting doing nothing this week; my last shift at work is tomorrow from 10-3, then i have to let them know i won't be there for my shifts at the end of this week.
this is my last sunday in Peterborough; for a really long time; my last time at Ferndale, my last time seeing people who have become my family, and i need to do very exciting things like pack all my stuff; and see everyone to say goodbye; and write letters to those who mean the most to me.
i'm looking forward to starting again in Korea; a new life where i can be a new person, no longer hindered by who i used to be. It's really exciting, but also completely petrifiying; i think i may start another blog to keep people up to date on my adventures in Korea; and maybe keep this one for my sanity.
if you are my friends and are reading this; thank you. Thank you for putting up with me, and for reading this; and i really hope i get a chance to say goodbye to you in person. for the people i don't know; thank you for reading this, and for caring. and, as this week progresses, i know i will realize my complete dependance on God... aside from the list i need to make of stuff to bring/do/everything, i will be spending alot of time with God this week.
love to you all
Ashlee/butterflygirl/River/Mei-mei
 
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(no subject)  
09:31pm 03/07/2008
 
 
tonight i've fallen and I can't get up
this will be the last night you spend alone
In a world that she can't rise above
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn


But her dreams give her wings
And she flies to a place where she's loved
Concrete angel

i am no damsel in distress, i don' t need to be rescued
i was on the highway to hell








and all the sudden going fishin
w





asn�t such an imposition
and I went three times that year I lost my dad
well I finally read the good book
and I took a good long hard look
at what I�d do if I could do it all again










We're more than carbon and chemicals

We are the image of the invisible

Free will is ours and we can't let go

We are the image of the invisible

We can't allow this, the quiet cull

We are the image of the invisible

So we sing out this, our canticle

We are the image of the invisible



[Chorus:]

We all were lost now we are found

No one can stop us or slow us down

We are the named and we are known

We know that we'll never walk alone



We're more than static and dial tone

We are the image of the invisible

We're emblematic of the unknown

We are the image of the invisible

So raise the banner, bend back your bows

We are the image of the invisible

Remove the cancer, take back your souls

We are the image of the invisible



[Chorus]



Though all the world may hate us, we are named

The shadow overtake us, we are known



We're more than carbon and chemicals

Free will is ours and we can't let go

We are the image of the invisible

We're more than carbon and chemicals

We are the image of the invisible

Free will is ours and we can't let go

We are the image of the invisible

We can't allow this, the quiet cull

We are the image of the invisible

So we sing out this, our canticle

We are the image of the invisible



[Chorus x2]



Raise up the banner, bend back your bows

Remove the cancer, take back your souls

I know one day, all our scars will disappear, like the stars at dawn

and all of our pain, will fade away when morning comes

and on that day when we look backwards we will see, that everything is changed

and all of our trials, will be as milestones on the way



and as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart

and there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends



on that day all of the scales will swing to set all the wrongs to right

all of our tears, and all of our fears will take to flight

but until then all of our scars will still remain, but we've learned that if we'll

open the wounds and share them then soon they start to heal



as long as we live, every scar is a bridge to someone's broken heart

and there's no greater love, than that one shed his blood for his friends



we must see that every scar is a bridge, and as long as we live

we must open up these wounds

when some one stands in your shoes and will shed his own blood

there's no greater love. we must open up our wounds

And I'll see what I should, and I'll see that its good, that its good

To experience the bitter-sweet, to taste defeat

Then brush your teeth

Experience, the bitter-sweet, to taste defeat

Then brush your teeth

Cause I struggle with forward motion

I struggle with forward motion

We all struggle with forward motion

Cause forward motion is harder then it sounds

Well everytime I get some ground I gotta turn myself around again

It's harder then it sounds

Well everytime I get some ground I gotta turn myself around again

Whoa- oah

I've been banging my head against the wall

Whoa- oah

For so long it seems I've got knocked out

Yeah got knocked out cold

Whoa- oah

And the medical bills went through the roof

And the scar on my head is the proof, that I'll still remember this when I get old

I got evicted now I'm living on the street

My spirits lifted, oh wait that wasn't me

Too many turns, have turned out to be wrong

This time I learned that, I knew it all along

Well I grasped to concept that I'll sleep where you slept

Whoa- oah

Well I know I need help when I allow my self

Allow myself

To experience the bitter-sweet, to taste defeat

Then brush your teeth

Experience, the bitter-sweet, to taste defeat

Then brush your teeth

Cause I struggle with forward motion

I struggle with forward motion

We all struggle with forward motion

Cause forward motion is harder then it sounds

Well everytime I get some ground I gotta turn myself around again

It's harder then it sounds

Well everytime I get some ground I gotta turn myself around again

Cause I struggle with forward motion

I struggle with forward motion

We all struggle with forward motion

Cause I struggle with forward motion

I struggle with forward motion

We all struggle with forward motion

Well everytime I get some ground I gotta turn myself around again

Cause I struggle with forward motion

I struggle with forward motion

We all struggle with forward motion
to live like you were dying.



"Worlds Apart"

I am the only one to blame for this
Somehow it all ends up the same
Soaring on the wings of selfish pride
I flew too high and like Icarus I collide
With a world I try so hard to leave behind
To rid myself of all but love
to give and die

To turn away and not become
Another nail to pierce the skin of one who loves
more deeply than the oceans,
more abundant than the tears
Of a world embracing every heartache

Can I be the one to sacrifice
Or grip the spear and watch the blood and water flow

To love you - take my world apart
To need you - I am on my knees
To love you - take my world apart
To need you - broken on my knees

All said and done I stand alone
Amongst remains of a life I should not own
It takes all I am to believe
In the mercy that covers me

Did you really have to die for me?
All I am for all you are
Because what I need and what I believe are worlds apart

[Additional lyrics:]

I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart
It's not hard to know what you're thinking
When you look down on me now
Your trance of love is seeking
To turn this world around
But in my state of blind confusion
No God can pull me out
I see your love is willing
To turn me inside out

And then I see you there
The lonely tears I cry
I wish they'd release me

It's in despair that I find faith
Summon the night to bow down to day
When ignorance is bliss
Save me from myself

[Chorus:]

And then I see You there
With Your arms open wide and You try to embrace me
These lonely tears I cry
They keep me in chains and I wish they'd release me
Cold is the night but
Colder still is the heart made of stone, turned from clay
And if you follow me
You'll see all the black, all the white fade to grey

Fade to grey
Fade to grey

"Oh My God"

Oh my God, look around this place
Your fingers reach around the bone
You set the break and set the tone
Flights of grace, and future falls
In present pain
All fools say, "Oh my God"

Oh my God, Why are we so afraid?
We make it worse when we don't bleed
There is no cure for our disease
Turn a phrase, and rise again
Or fake your death and only tell your closest friend
Oh my God.

Oh my God, can I complain?
You take away my firm belief and graft my soul upon your grief
Weddings, boats and alibis
All drift away, and a mother cries

Liars and fools; sons and failures
Thieves will always say
Lost and found; ailing wanderers
Healers always say
Whores and angels; men with problems
Leavers always say
Broken hearted; separated
Orphans always say
War creators; racial haters
Preachers always say
Distant fathers; fallen warriors
Givers always say
Pilgrim saints; lonely widows
Users always say
Fearful mothers; watchful doubters
Saviors always say

Sometimes I cannot forgive
And these days, mercy cuts so deep
If the world was how it should be, maybe I could get some sleep
While I lay, I dream we're better,
Scales were gone and faces light
When we wake, we hate our brother
We still move to hurt each other
Sometimes I can close my eyes,
And all the fear that keeps me silent falls below my heavy breathing,
What makes me so badly bent?
We all have a chance to murder
We all feel the need for wonder
We still want to be reminded that the pain is worth the thunder

Sometimes when I lose my grip, I wonder what to make of heaven
All the times I thought to reach up
All the times I had to give
Babies underneath their beds
Hospitals that cannot treat all the wounds that money causes,
All the comforts of cathedrals
All the cries of thirsty children - this is our inheritance
All the rage of watching mothers - this is our greatest offense

Oh my God
Oh my God
Oh my God

 
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(no subject)  
11:49pm 24/06/2008
 
 
i find it odd and weird and funny that the only time i ever post something is when i have something to say in my next post. this sits open in a tab for days on end; i add a bit from this and a bit from that; and then i'll post it when i have something else to say; it;s been forever since i've taken a chunk of time all at once to write something;  i will with this one i hope
but not tonight; i have to be up at not quite stupid oclock; but still earlyish

Don't question why she needs to be so free
She'll tell you it's the only way to be
She just can't be chained

NO i didn't come all this way to make this easy for you

but all the drugs in the world won't save her from herself
Coma White - Marilyn Manson
Theres something cold and blank behind her smile
Shes standing on an overpass
In her miracle mile

You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away

A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Wont save her from herself

Her mouth was an empty cut
And she was waiting to fall
Just bleeding like a Polaroid that
Lost all her dolls

You were from a perfect world
A world that threw me away today
Today to run away

A pill to make you numb
A pill to make you dumb
A pill to make you anybody else
But all the drugs in this world
Wont save her from herself

or... maybe this won't be my coherent post; but i have an idea for the next one so hear i go
 
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east to west and back again  
11:03pm 22/06/2008
 
 
If you can't run walk, if you can't walk crawl, and if you can't do that then you find someone to carry you.
It does.
Maybe I think too much.
I keep asking myself
"How did I get here, why and what am I supposed to do now?"

Its not like anyones going to tell me.
I wish I found religion.
But to me, iit doesn't make sense.
I'm scared of puttin my faith into something and someone who might not be real at all.
I'm scared of feeling free and happy, but it all being just a front because I've found something that made me feel that way, when it might not be real at all.

I keep asking myself
How do I know I'm real.

What do I do now?
If there is some great master plan, maybe I was left out of it.
And I'll watch the others leave, doing what they need to do
And I'll get left behind because I don't know what I want
Or what I'm supposed to do.

"East To West"

Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
'cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other
 
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(no subject)  
11:30am 16/06/2008
 
 
i ripped these out of your symbol and they became paper and i want to put them back
music is what feelings sound like
i don't want to be the one they say " I wish Ashlee was here"
but they will and it hurts me
 
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my broken porcelain heart  
09:58pm 09/06/2008
 
 
Barlow girl
song for the broken
porcelain heart"Song For The Broken"

I am the comfortable secure
The definition of this western world
And I have perfected deceit
Even I believe I'm above saving
I'll never let You see

I am the broken
I am the bruised
I am the poor ones
I have been used.

When I am breathing my last breath
"Come and save me" I will cry to You
'Cause pride has not let me say
Bring me to my knees,
Why does it take so much pain for me to see?
If strength is only fond when I am on my knees,
Why is it so hard t o show that I am weak?

I am the broken
I am the bruised
I am the poor ones
I have been used.


"Porcelain Heart"

Broken heart one more time
Pick yourself up, why even cry
Broken pieces in your hands
Wonder how you'll make it whole

[Chorus:]
You know, you pray
This can't be the way
You cry, you say
Something's gotta change
And mend this porcelain heart of mine

Someone said "A broken heart
Would sting at first then make you stronger"
You wonder why this pain remains
Were hearts made whole just to break

Creator only You take brokenness
And create it into beauty once again


 
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Mei mei  
09:24pm 08/06/2008
 
 
i'm back; and i'm a real live person now. I have a degree; i sent a bunch of stuff to Korea; went to a wedding; and a nice day even though it's really really hot out.
i miss my friends;
i miss having a real life
and i miss me
i'm still disconnected;
and i'm hot and tired
and i need to work; at not quite stupid o'clock, but still early
and i need to think; alot about alot
maybe i can't do this
and maybe i've been watching too much firefly
because i want to be called "mei mei"
meaning little sister; alot
oh and i'm on my laptop which i got for grad;

thats all for now but hope i'll be back soon
Mei mei
 
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Quotations that i stole  
11:04pm 04/06/2008
 
 
I hate to do the correcting, but this is something my English teacher used to say every time she heard the word "quote" used incorrectly.
"To quote, or not to quote, that is the verb. Quotations are an indulgence that should only be of those with the memory to remember them, and the capacity to name them as such."
I'm sorry, but it was necessary. Kinda..

As though something were broken in the world, and we were to hold our hands against the wound.
- Donald Miller, Blue Like Jazz.

You are dust, and unto dust you will return.
- Genesis.

You would care less about what people thought if you knew how seldom they did.
- Eugene James Meauley.

Trust is nothing but an expectation. If you expect nothing, you are never disappointed.
- Timothy T.

Be yourself. Don't take anyone's shit. And never let them take you alive. We're here to catch you when you fall.
- Gerard Way.

We did not invent the algorithm. The algorithm consistently finds Jesus. The algorithm killed Jeeves. The algorithm is banned in China. The algorithm is from Jersey. The algorithm constantly finds Jesus. This is not the algorithm. This is close.
- XKCD

You are who you state yourself to be. Nothing more. Nothing less. There is no space between for you to compensate with fibres of what might have been but never was.
- Your humble narrator.

There will be two dates on your gravestone. It's what happened in the rush between that matters.
- Kevin Welch.

Should we even wonder why our hearts are torn? Why our image is based on this broken city? Should we ask ourselves why our lungs breathe in sickness? Innocence is seen as weakness, laughter as naïve.
- Vedera, The Falling Kind.

If you swear that there's no truth, and who cares, why do you say it like you're right?
- Conor Oberst, We are Nowhere and it's Now.

Maybe they weren't punks at all, but New York drama critics.
- Tennessee Williams.

Whoever's trying to poison me.
No-one's trying to poison you.
They poisoned my food twice, didn't they?
They poisoned
everybody's food!
And what difference does that make?

- Yossarian and Clevinger, ficticious characters of Joseph Heller's creation, Catch-22.

What do you do when you're the most powerful person in the room? Watch.
- Andy Stanley.

Guys don't need personal trainers. They need women who are just out of reach.
- Jamie Tworkowski.

It's the children in the world who almost break who become the adults to save it.
- Jamie Tworkowski.

Standing on the fringes of life offers a unique perspective, but there comes a time to see what it looks like from the dance floor.
- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of being a Wallflower.

There is nothing here stronger than the human mind.
And nothing as brittle as the heart.

- Yours truly.

Love is just an excuse to get hurt. And to hurt.
- Conor Oberst, Lover I Don't Have To Love.

The struggles are here to strengthen us.
- Romans 8:18. (I think. I haven't checked, I'm lazy.)

The drugs don't work, they just make it worse.
- Richard Ashcroft.

Goodness is something chosen. When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man.
- Antony Burgess, A Clockwork Orange.
 
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this is it  
10:42pm 04/06/2008
 
 
tomorrow
I will officially graduate from Trent
I will be a real person
and a real grown up
ME
an adult
i never thought it would happen
I always thought I would kill myself first
but it is happening
in less than 12 hours


and
why do we always try to outdue each other?
I think it's pride
no matter what it is; i want to be better than you at it
your life sucks? mine sucks more
your life rocks? mine does more
you did it once? i did it 3 times
i really need to stop trying to outdue everyone else
my challenge to you dear ones
is the same
next time someone says something they are excited about
or accomplished
be happy for them; honestly and truly happy for them
and don't try to be better than them
just leave it there and
thats it

and
detroit just won the Stanley cup;
and I'm in tears as always
the first newfie to get his name on the cup
and the first European captain to win it too
congrats to the wings

and
i'm going home for a few days; i'll be back sunday or late saturday

and last but not least
pray for good weather for tomorrow
 
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randomness  
10:07am 04/06/2008
 
 
but she is my family
he is too

You can't compare the degrees of anguish people are going to feel. Life isn't a game of whose wound is worse.

       
no one is falling on their sword for you

Simon - "I'm trying to put this as delicatley as I can, but how do I know you won't try to kill me in my sleep?"
Mal - "you don't know me son, so i'm going to tell you this once; if i ever kill you, you will be awake; you will be facing me, and you will be armed"

that's an honourable man

Rosaries and razorblades

what do i have to do to get you to listen to me?
tell me what i want to hear
 
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(no subject)  
08:32pm 01/06/2008
 
 
the cocky showman
introduces the artist
balancing up there on her wire
the crowd is hushed as they watch her wobble
walking slowly with no pole
the fall is in slow motion
the crowd gasps; as no net is there to catch her

"SEND IN THE CLOWNS"
the ringmaster shouts
the crowd laughs at the slapstick clowns,
hitting each other with  foam bats

the artist hits the ground as the clowns cause the crowd to roll in laughter
she lies there, forgotten by the crowd, ignored by the world



like a bolt of hope in a sky of despair


umm okay; this doesn't make sense, but i'm done it for now
 
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her eyes  
11:44pm 30/05/2008
 
 
Such a beautiful song; something i needed to hear... and please hit me if i begin referring to myself in the third person;
thanks

She's not afraid; she just likes to use her night light
When she gets paid, true religion gets it all
If they fit right.

She's a little bit manic, completely organic
Doesn't panic for the most part.

She's old enough to know, and young enough not to say no
To any chance that she gets for home plate tickets to see the Mets.
Like everybody, she's in over her head,
Dreads Feds, Grateful Dead, and doesn't take meds.

She's a Gemini Capricorn
Thinks all men are addicted to porn.
I don't agree with her half the time,
But, damn I'm glad she's mine.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

She got the kinda strength that every man wishes he had.
She loved Michael Jackson up until he made Bad.

Tells me that she lives about a hundred lives,
Scares me to death when she thinks and drives,
Says cowboy hats make her look fat,
and I'm so glad she's mine.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

She doesn't know the word 'impossible'
Don't care where I've been and doesn't care where we're goin' to.
She takes me as I am, and that ain't easy.
She's beautiful. So beautiful.

And sometimes I think she's truly crazy.
And I love it.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.

She's not afraid
she just likes to use her night light.
 
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lucid moments  
11:43pm 30/05/2008
 
 
lucid moments
I stole this from someone else's blog; but i can't remember who; but i think it's amazing...


"there's a girl i know,it's almost like she lives in a different time. not time as in years. not those we count. but in her own mind, it's like she's run a hundred miles and seen a hundred things. in a year i could never catch up to her. people often confused us. we had the same eyes. mine, she told me, spoke of an innocence and a purity. of memories formed but soon to be washed away and ravaged by the tides of time. she often talked in such circles, sometimes starting at the end of things. i didn't always understand, but i always listened. she spoke alot about darkness and time as well. almost as if she felt her days were numbered. i was naive, i didn't think that great people died young. only loud-voiced rebels did. but she was that too, in a sense. a non-conformist of a rare sort. she lived for a thrill, she lived to rise and revolt. when all others fled, she stayed beyond, come hell or high water, come friends or enemies. even her enemies had a respect for her. everyone kept her in high regard.
so not only did she have an answer for everything, she was stikingly beautiful. it wasn't a pretty plastic sort either. it was a deadly breath-taking beauty. she could suffocate you with one look, and strangle you with a second. truth reflected in her eyes, and she tooked out on the technicolor world before her, trying to make sense of all the pain. pain. it put cracks and crystals into her ocean eyes, breaking apart the calm color like waves. she said eyes were the windows to a soul. and she saw into mine more then i would like. when i lied, she caught me, and started down at me like a hawk, demanding to hear truth ring.
she was a mystery to me, even though she said i knew her best. i've never known any one so complex, so layered, so hidden away like she was. she walked through tragedies with her head high. she took the bravest jumps. i thought she would never fall.but even angels fall
she didn't have a halo, or golden tipped wings. but she took me to a place where i belonged. and she taught me what she knew, she taught me wisdom beyond her years. her voice echoes, talking those circles about streetlights and stars, about peace and chaos. chaos is the movement she said. don't let that ever die out. you are a legacy. don't let that die.
she was like a shadow, always there to offer a helping hand or some comforting words. no one thought she would just slip away from us. but i suppose heaven got jealous, even if she didn't beleive in it.
now that i look at faded sepia photographs, i begin to piece together the pieces i couldn't see before. she was so indestructable. i think that's why we thought we'd never lose her. no one knew her secrets. no one could unravel her soul. we knew she was shattered, but we were selfish and only used her for our own happiness. we never thought of hers. so in the end, who's hand should take her life but her own? maybe she didn't bleed. maybe she didn't starve. but she was suffering to the point of death long before that tainted night. she was dead long before her soul left her body. she was empty much much before the police wrote her name on a tag to identify her.
i look back now and the guilt eats away at me. she left little clues. and i look back now and i don't see a wingless angel. i see someone fallen. so lost. she lost herself in us so that maybe we would find her. but we ignored the clues. we never thought of her. she changed our lives. she changed the world.

but she couldn't change her demons."
 
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mental disease rant  
06:24am 28/05/2008
 
 

When someone has a disease; like Munchowson (i probably spelled that wrong) by proxy, depression, alcoholism, schizophrenia; any disease that isn't physical or visible, people assume it's not real; this is my rant of the day; if a mother is making her child sick because she has Munchowson's, it is because she is sick; not because she is a mean and evil person. When someone has alcoholism; it's not like they choose to be sick (granted in most cases they did choose it at some point), but they have a disease which leaves them dependant on this disease. The same thing goes for depression; just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not real. and just because you don't understand it, it doesn't mean that they are doing it for attention or they choose to be depressed; it is a disease that they on their own can not control in most cases. so next time you look at someones actions and judge them; please keep in mind that there may be more to them than you can see; aside from them having their own past and story; maybe they are fighting a disease that you can't see.




  
 
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(no subject)  
08:12am 26/05/2008
 
 
okay this annoys me
 
THIS IS THE OFFICIAL SUPPORT C-484 SITE

Ken Epp, MP, who is the Member that is bringing this bill forward will be making periodic appearances on this group and bringing us updates. Stay tuned.

CURRENT STATUS OF C-484: Passed 2nd reading vote on March 5th, 2008 and is waiting either to be reviewed by the Justice Committee and/or brought back to the House of Commons for 3rd reading.

________________________________________________

OVERVIEW AND WHY WE NEED C-484 TO PASS:

In November, 2005, 19-year-old Olivia Talbot and her unborn son were killed when she was six months pregnant. She was shot by a childhood friend. The killer, Jared Baker, was only convicted of one count of murder.

Olivia's death was among the first in a series of killings of pregnant women that have made the headlines. Many of the families of the victims were appalled by the fact that no charges can be laid on the killer for the loss of the unborn child.

To fill that gap, Edmonton MP Ken Epp has tabled Bill C-484, a private member's bill that would make it a separate crime to kill a fetus while committing an offence against the mother.

At present, our criminal justice system treats the woman and the fetus as one and the same. This is a legal fiction. Bill C-484 is a common sense bill that would address the true nature of a woman's relationship with her fetus.

WHAT YOU CAN DO TO SUPPORT C-484:

Contact your MP and the Members of the Justice Committee. Here is a great on-line resource to help you do that: http://4mycanada.ca/484Postcards.html

Recent News

ON-LINE POLL @ Ken Epp's Site:

Cast your vote today by going to Ken's site and voting in favour of C-484 on his poll. The anti-484 groups have been spamming it so cast your vote today! http://www.kenepp.com

Check out Ken Epp's site for many amazing articles about the heart of C-484: http://www.kenepp.com.

Notice: There is a misinformation campaign that seems to be running across the nation by those that oppose C-484.

Here are a couple examples:

LIE: This bill is about abortion.
TRUTH: This bill is about protecting women who CHOOSE to keep their children. It is a proven fact that violence against women increases when a woman is pregnant. There are TOO many cases (some very recent) in Canada where women were attacked, and in some cases murdered, with the intent to kill their wanted child. A compassionate Canada will bring forth more legislation that will protect these vulnerable women.

LIE: If C-484 passes women could be charged for harming their own child.
TRUTH: This is not true. The law only applies to those that are attacking pregnant women. Anything a woman chooses to do to her own body is her own decision.



 I've copied and pasted the above from a facebook group; One of my friends says he doesn't understand why pro-choice supporters don't like this bill; to me it's the most obvious thing ever - if someone is charged with 2 murders for killing a pregnant woman; that is giving the child rights (and yes i use that on purpose). It is saying that the baby inside her is a person and should be treated the same as the mother.
Now anyone who knows me knows where i stand on abortion (basically it's murder, but people should have the right to safe and legal abortions if they really need them; and that we need to love and support women rather than ostrisize them) knows that i would most of the time support this bill; but i do understand that making killing a woman and a baby inside her a double homicide will lead to the banning of abortion.

that is my rant for the day; at least for the moment
stuff to do - kimchi to try
love
Ash
 
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